personal development negotiations
16.11.2021
Author: Academy-of-capital.ru
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From this material you will learn:
- Difference between verbal and nonverbal communication
- Conscious and unconscious nonverbal communication
- The Importance of Conscious Nonverbal Communication
- 5 Functions of Nonverbal Communication
- Main types of nonverbal communication
- Features of interpretation of non-verbal signals
- Tips for developing nonverbal communication skills
There are various types of nonverbal communication: from certain gestures to touch, from a person’s gaze to his spatial position or even just appearance. And each of these signals carries certain information; it is only important to interpret it correctly.
But this does not always work out. While some gestures are quite unambiguous, others may not be entirely clear to a participant in a dialogue who does not understand body language very well. But in the case when a person is well versed in the topic, many interlocutors are like an open book to him. And this state of affairs greatly facilitates communication.
Difference between verbal and nonverbal communication
Almost every person on Earth can communicate using language and gestures. Moreover, if we teach speech, then we often use the second method unconsciously. These types of communication - verbal and non-verbal - are means of transmitting information between people. Depending on the chosen option, the tool for them is the word or the body.
Nonverbal appearance is remarkable in that a large number of images can be conveyed through posture, facial expressions and gestures in various circumstances. Body language is very rich and is limited only by the abilities and imagination of the person himself. In fact, it is as effective a method of communication as speech.
It is quite easy to assess this ability: you can simply sit down and watch a film in an unstudied foreign language. In conditions of a lack of information, the brain itself will begin to provoke you to pay increased attention to details. For example, gestures, facial expressions, minor body movements and the conditions in which an event occurs on the screen. Even despite the lack of understanding of speech, you will still notice that you are already reading part of the information, if not all of it, by emotions, intonations and postures. Some films are so rich in non-verbal language that you can turn off the sound and watch only the picture: almost everything will be clear.
When reporting that he speaks a language, a person often does not even think that at the same time he means not only a specific language, for example English or Russian. In fact, he constantly transmits information, even when he is silent, through postures, facial expressions and gestures. A non-verbal method of communication allows you to communicate in the presence of a language barrier, regardless of gender and age.
Speech must be mastered in order to use it. Learn the alphabet, pronunciation, correct stress and word formation rules. Sign language requires only the body and muscle work. With its help, you can broadcast primitive images to establish communication with any person.
Of course, contact will be at a low level, since it is necessary to use basic forms of gestures that are universal for many. However, it is nonverbal communication that makes our appearance and posture informative. Sometimes a couple of gestures replace a big emotional exclamation. Thus, a foreigner, having forgotten the necessary words, can use his fingers and facial expressions to indicate what is interesting to him.
Functions of nonverbal communication
The main function is the transmission of information, as in verbal interaction. However, body movements convey any information, even that which a person would not like to disclose.
The functions of nonverbal communication also include:
- Obtaining information about a person’s individual qualities (character, temperament).
- Focusing on any subject of communication.
- Communicating information about the emotional and physical state of the interlocutor.
- Expressing true opinions about the topic of interaction.
Conscious and unconscious nonverbal communication
Depending on how deliberately a person uses the abilities of his body to contact others, two types of communication can be distinguished.
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The first is nonverbal communication done consciously. A person specifically chooses certain postures, gestures, and facial expressions in order to convey his opinion, mood, and necessary information to the interlocutor.
The second is unconscious nonverbal communication. With it, almost all the actions we perform in the process are spontaneous. An experienced person can read them, and they will tell him much more about the interlocutor than any words.
One can quite clearly observe how different types of non-verbal communication are used in the art of acting. There this almost always happens consciously. Practiced poses, gestures, and facial expressions help actors create their character as realistic as possible. Nonverbal, or body language, when used consciously, opens up great opportunities.
Experienced and resourceful actors have a serious knowledge of body language. Thanks to observation and attentiveness, they notice the smallest details that can be used in a pose to enhance the spoken words, which helps them create dozens and hundreds of variations of behavior for any occasion.
Leg position when communicating
- Focus position
: Open pose with feet together and toes slightly apart. This position indicates neutral human behavior. - The position in which the legs are apart is most typical for the male half of humanity
, since it is a certain signal of dominance. At the same time, this position indicates confidence; the person stands firmly on his feet. - If one of the interlocutor's legs is placed in front of the other
, then this gesture can reveal his intentions regarding the conversation. If a person’s toe is pointed to the side when talking to you, this means that he is not averse to leaving quickly. And, on the contrary, when the toe is pointed towards the interlocutor, the person is engaged in the conversation.
Variations of crossed legs
All crossed leg positions indicate a closed and defensive attitude. Often, a person takes this position of the legs, experiencing discomfort and stress. In combination with crossed arms (most often in the chest area), the pose speaks of a person’s desire to isolate himself from what is happening and the inability to perceive information. A position called “leg hooking,” which is common among women, signifies fear, discomfort, and constriction.
The Importance of Conscious Nonverbal Communication
Communication using body language is necessary for complete communication. Communication through gestures enhances what is said, giving it the necessary emotional coloring. In fact, it is various types of nonverbal communication that allow people with language barriers or problems pronouncing sounds to communicate with each other.
Moreover, if in the first case the complexity of the transmitted images can be increased gradually, then in the second this is impossible, since gestures become, in principle, the only means of communication with another person.
Most people communicate using words. People with voice and hearing disabilities are left with only their fingers and face as an alternative to speech and emotions. They use gestures and facial expressions to communicate with each other and others.
Sometimes situations arise when it is impossible to convey something using words: soundproof walls, long distances, noisy crowds. And then non-verbal communication comes to the rescue. Its conscious use can be observed in many places. For example, hunters, divers, and motorists have a system of conventional signs. Possession of them helps to quickly coordinate many actions.
Main types of nonverbal communication
You can convey information without using speech in various ways. All of them are divided according to the types of means/methods chosen for contact. The features of each are detailed below.
- Kinetic signals
The most common means of self-expression, since it allows you to supplement what is said with posture, tilt of the head, contraction of the facial muscles, gestures and generally any movements. Thanks to him, phrases receive emotional coloring and richness, a second or even third meaning.
The use of actions strongly depends on character, temperament and upbringing, as well as national characteristics. Thus, in some cultures much becomes clear precisely through facial expressions and body movements, while in others this is not accepted.
- Tactile signals
Similar to kinetics, but they require physical contact. They are transmitted by touch, which can be expressed in a handshake, a clap on the shoulder, or a hug. It is this group of elements that helps determine the level of social and interpersonal interaction in each specific case.
- Visual cues
They are presented with eyes that can be rounded, narrowed, or directed in the desired direction. The duration of visual contact, its frequency, intensity or lightness also matters.
- Spatial signals
The position of the body in space is also a type of nonverbal communication. There is a whole section in psychology that helps interpret the true meaning of what a person said, adjusted for his posture and gestures. The position, the distance between the interlocutors and in relation to the surrounding space, whether they sit sideways or straight are important.
Spatial signals can change depending on the situation and be adjusted at a conscious or intuitive level. Thus, a conversation in private will be different from a public one, and a social one is accompanied by different nonverbal signals compared to a personal one.
- Circum- or paraverbal communication
The most difficult group to interpret, since it includes everything related to speech, namely: intonation, speed, rhythm, modality, the presence and duration of pauses, their frequency. In this case, signals are always interpreted individually, without having as such a basis for generalization.
The reason lies in the fact that, for example, communication in a raised voice may mean an extreme degree of excitement for one person, while for another it may simply be a consequence of habit, a professional deformation. Hesitations and pauses arise both due to the internal state and due to external factors.
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- Appearance
In some cases, the setting and how the interlocutor is dressed play a role. For example, negligence or emphasized neatness can say a lot about his own character or attitude towards his opponent and affect the dialogue. This is not always taken into account, but sometimes such details make it possible to understand what is not said out loud.
Rapport and rapport building
Rapport in psychology and NLP is a special state between people when connection, mutual understanding, and trust are felt at the internal level; specific contact and the state itself when people are in this contact.
Simply put, rapport is identity with another person, similarity to him. Establishing rapport can be done by adjusting to categories according to Satir, joining, mirroring, as well as perception from the second position.
Establishing rapport
Establishing rapport is a fundamental goal in NLP. It can happen over a long period of time or very quickly. The duration of the process itself often depends on the level of the communicator. And rapport can be achieved on two levels: conscious and unconscious.
The main ways to establish rapport are: mirroring a person on a non-verbal level, as well as adjusting to basic representative systems. Nonverbal adjustment is based on reflecting the same rate of breathing, eye movements, gestures, posture, etc. Verbal takes as a basis the characteristic features of a person’s verbal behavior.
The sensory acuity of the communicator is also very important in establishing rapport, i.e. his ability to most effectively notice and track the nonverbal manifestations of another person, the external features of his behavior. People always send various signals that reflect their internal processes, and the development of sensory acuity makes it possible to “read” them, as well as determine the effectiveness or ineffectiveness of attunement with another person and the presence or absence of rapport with him.
The development of sensory acuity is a serious process, but very interesting. And its constant training will allow you to learn to track such features of people’s communication that were not previously noticed. And in order for this to become possible, you need to follow several effective recommendations:
- During communication, try to “break down” this process itself into separate components and track them.
- Monitor each person's nonverbal characteristics and reactions.
- Observe people carefully and listen to what they say.
- Watch strangers: at work, in public places, in movies and TV shows.
- Pay attention to the “little things”: breathing, rate of speech, complexion, shape of lips, tone and timbre of voice.
By improving your sensory acuity skills, you will also improve your rapport-building skills, and you will also become more deeply aware of other people and their behavior, learn to predict future interactions, recognize lies and truth, and learn to convey your own messages in a way that evokes only the reactions you need.
And the last question that we will examine in this lesson is the Milton Erickson model or, more simply, the Milton model. But, given that this topic is very voluminous and requires in-depth study, the following section of the article would be more correctly described as an introduction to the Milton model.
Features of interpretation of non-verbal signals
There are statistics according to which a person receives about 70% of information by deciphering nonverbal signals. This happens directionally or intuitively, but constantly, so it is useful to be able to interpret them.
However, not everything can be recognized and understood correctly. In order to do this competently, it is necessary to distinguish between types of nonverbal communication and know their characteristics. This will help divide the signals into groups and identify the smallest, but therefore more truthful, since they are less obvious and more difficult to control.
At the same time, you shouldn’t get carried away and look for a second meaning where there is none. It is necessary to take into account the character of the interlocutor, the situation, the context and a number of factors in order to interpret the signs correctly, and not try to “read” reactions caused by external circumstances.
Hand gestures when talking
Hand gestures can tell in sufficient detail about the general mood of the interlocutor’s conversation. The richness of a person’s speech and gestures adds bright colors to the conversation. At the same time, overly active gestures or periodically repeated gestures can indicate self-doubt and the presence of internal tension. In general, hand gestures can be divided into open and closed:
Closed hand gestures in almost all cases indicate some discomfort and a person’s desire to “close up.” For example, hands placed on the elbows and “clasped” indicate the interlocutor’s unpreparedness for a direct conversation and making a decision at the moment. If a person has a ring on his finger, and he periodically touches and scrolls it, then this gesture indicates nervous tension. If the interlocutor, while at the table, raises his hand to his lips, then most likely he wants to hide certain information or deceive. You should also pay attention to the gesture when the interlocutor touches his ear with his fingers, as it means a desire to stop the conversation.