Why can't I concentrate and understand what they're saying to me?

Hello! My name is Igor Lapin, I am a professional pickup trainer. Today we will figure out how to stop mumbling and speak confidently. Shy guys know firsthand how hard it is to be afraid to express your opinion clearly and clearly. The most typical situation that comes to mind is when a group of people is discussing a topic, you try to get your word in, but they simply don’t hear you. It’s even more offensive if they hear you, but don’t listen, don’t take your opinion into account. Automatically, a person who cannot express himself clearly becomes uninteresting to everyone, including the fair sex.

There is no need to become a great speaker - this is the lot of people who strive for power and big money.

We are at least talking about how to stop being a mumbler in everyday life.
After all, it constantly interferes in all areas of life. Even while standing in line at the hospital, without an inner core, you can let more arrogant people go ahead of you and end up chewing on the negativity inside. Hi, friend! Especially for you, I have prepared the course “Student. Natural seduction" for only 1490 rubles! Follow the link and order -> There are a huge number of life situations when we need a confident voice. Mumbling under your breath is never taken seriously, and people who are mentally stronger will constantly suppress mumbles. Along with an insecure voice, we get a whole complex of other negative qualities, such as: pliability, lack of our own opinion, weak character, etc.

There are a number of tips on how to stop mumbling and speak confidently. To do this you need to work hard on yourself. Let's start with the very basics and go in order.

Straighten your shoulders

The first thing you need to work on to give yourself more confidence is your posture. All serious and confident people walk with a straight back, remember the military. It has been known since ancient times that all great commanders and army generals look proud and maintain their posture. This is also called military bearing. This is what we need to achieve. Here are a number of benefits that a person with a straight back receives:

• many health problems caused by spinal curvature go away;
• the person becomes calmer and more balanced, nervousness goes away;
• a feeling of confidence and strength appears;
• The lungs expand and speech becomes loud and intelligible.

Always ensure that your back is straight in any position of your body.
The temptation to relax is great, but this slack will definitely come back to haunt you in the future.

Speak slowly and deliberately

There is no need to try to become an extrovert who talks incessantly. First of all, it will look stupid. Secondly, fast speech often indicates that a person is nervous. Embody the image of an imperturbable rock and speak clearly, at a normal speed. Don’t be shy about taking pauses and thinking through your words, because a delivered speech is much better than uncontrolled verbal diarrhea with a lot of parasitic words, and even swear words. For greater confidence, you can lock your fingers. It really helps you calm down and feel less nervous. It’s far from a fact that you’ll be able to successfully follow all the advice at once, but you shouldn’t be afraid to say something off topic.
You can always correct yourself in time and continue speaking. Believe me, people will begin to perceive you differently and will listen respectfully.

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Don't forget about intonation. Correctly placed emphasis, raising and lowering the voice at the right moments add beauty and weight to speech. The hearing of others will invariably cling and follow such a speaker.

Killing a genius with a word

The biggest blow to the ability to concentrate and recognize the meaning of words comes from insults and humiliations. Any offensive speech or obscenity directed at a little sound artist, even said quietly, causes him severe suffering.

He was born to concentrate and recognize meanings. And when are these meanings unpleasant, humiliating, offensive or disgusting? Then the sound player’s psyche adapts as best it can in the absence of other conditions. Nobody wants to go where they feel bad. He stops perceiving information coming to him from the outside world from other people.

A child with a sound vector stops focusing on the meaning of the words that are spoken to him. Since childhood, he gets used to the fact that they only bring pain and unconsciously abstracts himself from them. Stops perceiving information by ear altogether.

Therefore, when someone tells him something, it’s as if he doesn’t hear, doesn’t understand what they’re talking about. This becomes a problem when training. The child loses the ability to learn through hearing, as his neural connections, which are also responsible for the ability to learn, are disrupted. He simply does not recognize the meanings, cannot, and does not want to concentrate and understand.

And this despite the fact that he has the most powerful abstract intelligence - the same in potential as any genius, which is not used in conditions of a threat to the sensor.

When a sounder grows up, he continues to be in such states constantly. This happens on an unconscious level, therefore, even if he wants to, he cannot concentrate on the meaning of what he is being told. For example, when the nuances of a new job are explained to him. Everything was repeated to him three times in the smallest detail, and he listened to everything again...

And the most interesting thing is that the ability to learn through reading remains, and a person may be surprised that he easily understands a text about something about which he heard a long lecture, but did not learn anything from it.

Working on your speech

As they say, “nothing beats practice,” but it’s worth paying attention to other points.
Listen and watch more people who have the art of public speaking. These could be politicians, artists and other famous people. Another important tip that experts recommend is to record your speech on a voice recorder and then listen to it, identifying errors and monitoring progress. Everyone today has a smartphone with voice recording functionality. Constantly analyze your speech: slurred sounds, swallowing letters, etc.

Practice reading aloud often, pronouncing each word slowly and clearly. If you notice that you are gradually slipping into an ordinary “moo,” go back and repeat the sentence again. It is also recommended to learn to pronounce vowel sounds while opening your mouth wide.

The most important point in practice is regularity.

Dedicate at least 15 minutes a day to training and real results will soon appear.

An old and proven method of how to stop being a mumbler is tongue twisters. Don't forget about this great tool for practicing word pronunciation.

Causes of delayed speech development by age five

Scientists, educators, psychologists and doctors, based on many years of research and observation, have accumulated a huge amount of statistical data on the development of speech in 5-year-old children. A one-year-old child learns to pronounce syllables, a 2-year-old child has fifty words in his arsenal, three-year-olds can speak simple sentences of several words. By the age of 5, children should be able to express their thoughts coherently.

Situations when a 5-year-old child speaks poorly are not uncommon. Speech disorders are expressed in the following:

• his sound pronunciation is impaired;
• the pace and rhythm of speech is impaired;
• speech disorders arose due to impaired hearing functions;
• Due to developmental delay, he loses his existing pronunciation.

Based on the above, two fundamentally different reasons can be identified that can influence the development of speech:

1. Organic - disorders of the nervous system that occurred in utero, malocclusion, short frenulum, individual structure of the articulatory apparatus.
2. Functional - the mental characteristics of the baby and the specifics of its development.

Before starting classes with a child, it is necessary to specify the cause of the speech development disorder.

Organic disorders are eliminated faster and easier, since they are not related to the baby’s psyche. The problem will be much more serious if there is a hearing impairment. In this case, it will be more difficult for the child to communicate, his vocabulary will be poorer compared to his peers. These problems need to be addressed with the help of specialists such as an otolaryngologist and an audiologist. The sooner parents notice these problems, the greater the chance of solving them.

In order to perform a hearing test, you need to say something loudly and monitor the baby's reaction. If there is no reaction, then we can state a hearing impairment. You should contact a doctor immediately. Deafness is the cause of speech development disorders.

If a child cannot pronounce words or cannot pronounce some sounds, then you need to go to a speech therapist for help. If he has no desire to talk, he is silent most of the time, and communication with others is difficult, then parents should go to a neurologist, speech therapist, defectologist and psychologist. And the sooner the better. Five years is not two years when you can still delay a little while solving speech development problems.

When speech is underdeveloped, the development of nerve cells in the speech zone slows down. This zone is located in the left hemisphere of the brain. Probable causes may be pathologies of intrauterine development, injuries received during childbirth, intoxication or infectious diseases. Correcting this violation is quite difficult, but it is realistic and possible.

Exploring the abilities of your voice

Some practices, which I will discuss later, help very well to develop your voice.

• Breathing practices to open the diaphragm. It's no secret that proper breathing is very important for loud and clear speech. Even eastern practices such as pranayama are suitable for training. Inhalation occurs sequentially: first from the lower abdomen, then the air moves higher to the chest area and finally straightens the shoulders.
• Singing. Even if you don’t have the talent of Alla Pugacheva, don’t be shy about training this way. The song reveals the voice very well, and at the same time its beauty. In the future, this will allow you to correctly intonate your words and give your voice a melody, thanks to which others will enjoy listening to you.
• Scream. If you have the opportunity to scream at home or somewhere outside the city at the top of your lungs, take advantage!
  Concerts and football matches are great places to join in the buzz. This neutralizes embarrassment, removes internal pressures and allows you to explore the power of your voice.

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What parents need to do

First of all, with a child who pronounces sounds poorly and cannot speak well and correctly at 5 years old, you need to make an appointment with a speech therapist. A good specialist, after testing using special techniques, will be able to diagnose the cause of speech disorders. If necessary, he will refer you for a consultation with a neurologist, speech pathologist or psychologist. It happens that a child who shows good promise in speech development suddenly slows down and speaks noticeably worse. Perhaps he had psychological problems and lost his sense of security. In this case, a psychologist and increased attention, care and love from mom and dad can help.

To develop correct speech and expand your vocabulary, you need to speak calmly to your child and not laugh at incorrectly constructed sentences. It is unacceptable to raise your voice at him during classes, because at this age children are already individuals. They just need help.

Tips that teachers and parents should take into account when interacting with 5-year-old children who have speech development problems:

1. A five-year-old with an anal vector is not recommended to rush. He must do everything as best he can - slowly. There is no need to scold him for being slow. For him, the best incentive is praise. Children need to read books, look at pictures with them and write simple stories. Such children are encouraged to build structures from cubes and make crafts with their hands.
2. Children need incentives. Children of the anal vector should be stimulated. It is recommended to develop a system of incentive prizes for success in pronunciation of sounds. Let him be interested, then the result will come faster. Outdoor games are more suitable for these kids. They are interested in logical tasks, but not complex ones. The difficulty level must be increased gradually, otherwise children’s interest in the activities will disappear.
3. Oral babies must be listened to completely. He talks a lot and tires those around him. Therefore, first we teach him to highlight the main thing in his message, and then tell it to people as calmly as possible. Oral speakers should not be rudely interrupted or forced to remain silent: this way the baby will develop into a pathological deceiver. You must behave very calmly with him, do not frighten him with threats and prohibitions, and do not issue ultimatums. Only a monotonous and calm explanation of your requirements helps. Screaming and swearing from adults can even provoke stuttering.
4. You can’t not only shout at sound kids, but also speak loudly and sternly to them. Under no circumstances should humiliation of sound children be tolerated. Quiet melodic music, even pleasant classics, is what will put the baby’s nervous system in order. He will be happy to improve his pronunciation.

The psychological component of incorrect speech is the first part of the problem, which specialists will help eliminate. Parents should understand the vector characteristics of their child and follow the recommendations.

Other tips

1. Believe in what you say. If what you say is not supported by confidence, then it will be insignificant for others.
2. Constantly monitor your speech consciously. Take liberties and speak intelligently.
3. Try to be calmer. In an emotional outburst, speech can get confused, and parasitic words slip through and it is impossible to express in words what you are thinking about.
4. Don’t be shy to ask your friends or parents for help.
   Read aloud to them and then ask them what mistakes they hear.
5. In the initial stages, always try to speak louder than the other person. The main thing is not to overdo it and raise your voice to an adequate degree, otherwise they will think the wrong thing about you.
6. Find out which words are most difficult for you. Words like: collaboration, abstractionism and others, which are not so often useful in everyday life and are not so easy to pronounce, can serve as an excellent trainer. Repeat them until you can speak absolutely clearly and intelligibly.
7. Always think ahead before speaking. Don’t be afraid to take short pauses and then express your thoughts firmly and confidently.
8. If you often hear in your direction: “What? Repeat, I didn’t hear,” then I practice raising my voice as when talking on the phone during a bad connection. Speak louder until it comes naturally to you.

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I listen, but I don't hear anything

Because of this problem, you constantly had difficulties studying at school and college. You absolutely could not understand what was being discussed in any subject - no matter who taught it or how. Whether the lecturers spoke loudly or quietly, slowly or quickly, nothing changed. There was only one thing that remained constant: the state of “listening, but not hearing anything.” The only thing that saved you was that you took notes on all the information and then through reading the text you could perceive and understand it.

Years passed, but nothing changed. Some people started saying that you obviously have some problems with your head and that in general you are somehow strange. They said that you are deliberately not listening to them. This led to many problems at work. But you couldn’t explain to people that you were listening to them attentively, but you didn’t understand anything and it was unclear to you how this could happen, because with the perception of printed texts everything is different.

In search of a solution to the problem, you tried to find some methods of concentration, listened intensely to audiobooks, trying to restore auditory perception, which is the norm for everyone. Unfortunately, nothing helped. And are you still trying to understand what’s wrong with you and how to fix it, I don’t know what? Is this even possible?

Who has trouble concentrating?

The training “System-vector psychology” by Yuri Burlan reveals the cause of the problem of concentration. Most often it occurs in people who have a sound vector. Only 5% of such people are born, and their most sensitive sensor is the ear.

Since primitive times, the role in society of such people has been to guard the flock at night. When everyone else was asleep, the soundman sat alone, listened to the silence of the night and focused on the slightest rustles in order to warn the flock in case of danger. Extreme concentration and listening to the night savanna gave rise to questions in him: “Who am I? What is the meaning of my life and the world as a whole?

To this day, such people like to be in silence and often stay awake at night, and questions about the meaning of life are fundamental for them. It is the desire to know the root cause and recognize meaning that makes them geniuses of all times - from Pushkin and Dostoevsky to Einstein.

Why can't I concentrate?

According to the knowledge of the “System-Vector Psychology” training, a person with a sound vector is born an absolute introvert, essentially an egocentric. In the process of growing up and forming the psyche, developing the ability to focus outward through the ear, he is able to fill the internal desire of the sound vector for self-knowledge.

But for this, a child with a sound vector needs a quiet environment in the house, a comfortable environment without loud sounds and screams, as well as the opportunity to be alone and quiet to think.

But it happens that a child grows up in an environment that hurts his sensitive ear, where the radio and TV are constantly on, dishes rattle all the time, parents swear and shout at each other, and neighbors turn on music loudly and make scandals. It’s even worse if parents, and especially the mother, yell at such a child, show verbal aggression, or constantly jerk their commands, demanding an instant reaction.

But even if a child is not yelled at at home, this can happen in kindergarten or at school, which has a similar effect.

This environment is completely opposite to the one in which the child’s sound vector would develop normally. And his psyche begins to adapt to this. There is no way to be in silence; it is unpleasant to concentrate outside of yourself. And then the child becomes withdrawn and has selective contact. He fences himself off from the outside world, since it is unbearable and hits the patient with threatening sounds and meanings.

Moving away from the outside world, he loses the ability to focus outside himself, instead he begins to focus on his thoughts and states, and this happens unconsciously. The child’s psyche is just being formed, but when he grows up, he still experiences difficulties in listening to the outside world, focusing on the outside world, since from childhood he is accustomed to the fact that it hurts.